The Zen Of Kink
Feature Topics
What is BDSM?
The purpose of this page is to provide information about new topics that many people may have questions about.
"I don't share my thoughts with the intention of changing the minds of those who think differently.
I share my thoughts to encourage diversity, free thought, give food for thought, and to let those who already think like me know that they are not alone."
How to be an intolerable Dominant
​
Many have asked "What is BDSM?" This can be a complicated question; as it has nearly as many answers as it has practitioners. However, I will tell you what BDSM is not.
BDSM is NOT about maliciously harming another human or animal.
BDSM is NOT a lifestyle full of sexual predators just waiting to pounce.
This isn't Hollywood nor is this 50 shades of grey, so get the film industry out of your head. In general, BDSM is an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. BDSM is used as a catch-all phrase to include a wide range of activities. Here is an explanation of what the acronym of BDSM means.
B ondage:
Well, that is pretty self explanatory. Got rope?
D iscipline and Dominance:
This is the process of improving a person's life by encouraging positive behavior through any combination of physical, emotional, or psychological stimuli.
S adism and Submission (not particularly associated with each other):
Sadism is the practice of delivering pain for pleasure. Submission is giving up control to another individual for pleasure.
M asochism:
The practice of receiving pain for pleasure.
So how about playtime?
First and foremost, the Power Exchange. This is how all play is conducted. This is a consensual empowerment given to the Master/Dom by the slave/sub.
BDSM is not necessarily as sexual or hardcore as one may think. Many use this lifestyle to either improve their personal lives or their sex lives. One must remember, no matter how docile or extreme you may think an activity is, this is CONSENSUAL.
Where do I fit in?
Since many of you who read this introductory may be starting your adventure into our kinky world as "vanilla". Here are a few simple definitions to help you understand different orientations of individuals in this lifestyle:
1. Vanilla: (This is you)
Daily or sexual activities that does not involve BDSM play. You are straight as a stick and your sex life is probably boring. Lol!
2. Dominant or Master: (This is me)
This person has been given consensual power/control over another person(s).
3. Submissive: (Not me)
A person who has given up some control, with minimal control of their own actions, to another person(s).
4. Slave: (Waaay not me. Lol!)
This person has, under pre-established specifications, given up 100% control of their actions, behavior, and body to another person(s).
5. Switch:
A person that can assume the role of a Dom or a sub, depending on the situation and partner.
6. Sadist:
A person who gets pleasure from inflicting pain on another person.
7. Masochist:
A person who gets pleasure from receiving pain from another person.
8. Brat:
A submissive who likes to "poke" the Dominant in a playful manner just to get a fun reaction.
​
9. Swirl
A person who is kink friendly, understands our world, hangs out with us, but isn't kinky.
​
10. Alternative submissive:
A "brat" who likes to "poke" the Dominant in a playful manner while insisting they are not a brat. This person in particular goes by the name of spininwv on fetlife and is very much a brat. Lol!
So, what about the sex?
Many newcomers think that this is ALL about sex. Well, I hate to be the party pooper here, but it's NOT. Such explicit sexual interaction is seen rarely in public play spaces and is usually banned. To many, this is a lifestyle both inside and outside of the bedroom. The dynamics differ with each individual/couple and can most definitely heighten one's sexuality. So, sex is not completely ruled out, it's just not essential to all dynamics.
​
What is "SSC" and "RACK"?
It's the code in which ALL play is conducted.
SSC = Safe, Sane and Consensual
RACK= Risk Aware Consensual Kink
EVERYTHING is based on safe activities, that all participants be of sufficiently sound/sane mind to consent, and that all participants do consent.
Keep these phrases in mind: "my kink isn't your kink" ... "what is kinky for one may be vanilla for another" ... Remembering these phrases will help you be more open minded to our practices.
So, there it is... a quick introductory to the world of BDSM. If you want to learn more, get more involved by joining groups and discussions. Come on out to munches (I have a topic explaining this function) and parties. But if you are not ready for all of that just yet, here are a few websites for more reading.
http://sexuality.about.com/od/glossary/g/BDSM.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvrfxNh3Z14
http://www.leathernroses.com/lnrhome.htm
http://www.submissiveguide.com/
http://www.leatherarchives.org/home.htm
​
